We went in to sort out a procedure that took fluid out of Missus that did not belong in her. In all, 1100ml of the stuff that was between her lung and the sac it is contained in. Goodness! It was shocking! It was also perhaps the first procedure to correct anything that has been wrong with her since the whole process began back at the beginning of December. The rest has been antibiotics and checks to see if everything is going okay on the dose she has been on. There has been a lot, and it has been honestly hellish. The woman went through one of the more painful things a human can experience. She has said it was far worse than childbirth. I don’t want to disclose all the details, just say, this is the kind of thing that has been going on, and it has been extremely stressful. It was a non-traumatic event, and very unexpected.
The point I do want to express is that I have taken little time for myself, really, since this all began. I mean, I have tried to get a little time here and there to relax some. But after today’s procedure, and the almost welcomed sight of so much fluid coming out of her and relieving stress on her, we came home and she took a nap, and I put on some mindless YouTube video about someone building a cabinet out of wood. I watched that and a couple of others and just let my mind relax and a sense of almost relief wash over me. Not real relief because there is still more to figure out. But it was again, good to see something done to help her.
The kids are away, and the room was quite with just me in it. I shut off all the lights throughout the house and just enjoyed the peace. And while I did update some family and friends on what happened, and that it was a positive thing, I did otherwise let it go for a spell. And that is the point. Getting to where one can relax oneself and feel human and remember who they are is a part of reducing the stress. Would I have felt better if I had gone out to the woodshop? Perhaps so! I would have felt colder, too. So, I didn’t do that.
It’s been about a month now since that day I came home after getting a message asking to take her up to the ER. It has been a tough month. I know it could have been personally a lot worse if life wanted it to be. I have seen several people around us have been through worse. There have been terrible things afoot too near to home, and my heart has broken several times while dealing with our own problems. A rare one of the people near us in our neighborhood is with her brother in hospital while he is going through worse, so we found out today when we ran into her in the hospital cafeteria. What a heartbreak to see that!
Our next steps are confusing. We have medical steps to take. But I also need to come up with some sort of income, too. There are going to be a lot of bills to pay, and we aren’t going to get any help doing it. That’s a whole other level of stress that I can’t yet figure out. I have been a stay-at-home father for so long, and I am not prepared to just jump into some decent paying job and run away with the bill payments. I am going to have to get busy, instead, and crawl away with the payments.
Well, I am going to go back to my relaxing, and maybe even find some of my woodworking books and get them out and ready to start perusing and reading. Might be nice to at least have this weekend, before it all goes to shit again on Monday. Ha ha! But who knows? Maybe I’ll get a call about one of those jobs I have been looking into! That would help! I could start that day!