I woke up a couple of times during the night last night but went right back to sleep each time. When I woke up at 4:30, I needed a loo, and a drink. So, I am up now, at least for a bit. I have had a coffee and did a little other writing. I am honestly eager to try some ideas out with my camera set on the settings I programmed in last night to recreate a silver gelatin look with it. But that will probably wait for daylight, and when that comes, I will no doubt be distracted by trying to get the kitchen sink unclogged.
So, how am I feeling this morning? Honestly, a little weak. Not so much tingle as last night or yesterday. A bit, but not as much. My arms feal more weak than anything. But I feel less internal stress from what I believe was the high calcium before. A lot less! Big, and sudden changes! It’s not the kind of thing I think a person could hope for from medication. My appetite has felt different, too. I am not so hungry. I wonder how that will balance out as things continue to find equilibrium? I was living in England when I first got it in my head that I needed to lose my belly fat. A doctor here gave me a solid plan for doing so, and I could not do it. I just could not get my belly to budge, despite losing weight overall. So, I hope this will solve that problem. Less calcium in my blood straining my heart, and less weight on my internal organs, further straining my heart ought to be a good thing. It’ll all begin to prove out when I get back to work, and especially when I get to the tops of some stairs while working. See if I can make it each time without so much loss of breath and heavy heart beating? But that speculation is hopefulness. I guess that is a part of how I am feeling this morning. But physiologically, I am feeling a bit better this morning than I have for some time. That makes me eager to get up and get at something, which I will have to delay for further healing of the wound.
I still get phlegm in my throat, and I still hurt when I try to cough to move it. I am eager for that to heal. I still feel the wound when I move my head. It is not horrible. Just kind of there. I still have not had any painkillers since the evening of the operation when I took two acetaminophens. So, I think pain management is going swimmingly! I do feel it when I swallow, but not a complaint, so much as an observation, as it is not painful, as such. I have surprisingly good mobility.
I expect to take today off, and rest some more. I will feel better about increased activity after I see the doctor this week. Missus has been fantastic and has really kept me from exerting myself. She wants me healed and in full condition. I am guessing I am more useful that way, and she does not want to have a heap lying about the house because I went and did something foolish. Later this morning I will try some proper food and see about staying on my feet more. Yesterday I was suffering the tingle so much that I was far more comfortable in my chair.
The real challenge here has been the stupid kitchen sink, which picked now to have a deep clog in the pipe. We will boil water this morning and put it down, in hopes that having drained all night, the hot water will hit the grease directly and break through. Then it will be a few more pans to get it going again. Otherwise, I will have to wait a few more days and get the pipe apart down in the cellar and tackle it with the long metal snake that hangs in the shop. It is an old fashioned one with a metal tape that is nearly an inch wide and is sturdy as can be. Not like those modern snakes that have to spin to work. This one is a battering ram by comparison. It has always worked. But, with any good luck, the hot water will break down the grease and a rush of it will blast through after and clear the whole of the pipe. We will see!
When I was preparing for the operation and the time off from my chores, I got my daughter up to speed on operating the tractor, and how much to feed the llamas and goats. Naturally she spent yesterday on the sofa with cramps that hurt too much for her to move. We were a right pair outside last night trying to get the feeding done! She did not feel like driving the tractor, so she saw me at at, and decided she moves awful slow when she is doing it. I reminded her that’s okay because she has to build confidence. I’d rather she moves slow and learns to be very aware of what’s around her and what she is doing. The tractor is not like a car when it bumps into things around it. It does not sustain damage so much as it delivers it. I stay well back when she is driving, too. Good practice for everyone, so I have to set the example. Not like when I worked in the woodshop that my best friend’s family owned when I was 21. We all used to stand next to whomever was running a forklift in what I have come to learn was a stupidly close and dangerous place. It really came to light the day one of the guys umped three large bunks of hardwood on the floor, landing in part right where someone would have been stood if they had been working with him. Those forklifts were never used to pick three bunks at a time, but it was discovered by me that day that they can still drop them, even when not lifting them. So, I urge extreme caution from my family about their proximity to the tractor, and to stay away from where it can suddenly move onto them or fall over on them. There are some accidents that should never happen. This kind of thing is very avoidable. And as a driver, I am responsible to stop when someone comes into proximity. That is safety that is a team effort.
October is likely my favorite month of the year. And here it is already the fourth. I am letting it slip away! With reason, of course! But at least there is writing I can do, and eventually some light work around the shop and house and yard. I am going to be on the quest for money before long. I am not eager to get back to that, but the need pulls me. I don’t like that. Not one bit! Constantly worrying and chasing pennies is not the way I want to live. Using up my personal resources in the form of wasting away a car on the road for others’ benefit is gruesome as the company does not pay to cover the loss. I suffer for money I could be earning another way. Marketing. I keep telling myself it is a matter of marketing. I have got the skills. Hopefully with the changes that come from this operation I will have the energy and won’t fear losing customers from my own laziness and lack of peak performance because of something that was wrong in my body, and not because of some silly personal fault. That is the worst thing about being American. Feeling the expectations of others, and when things are wrong inside your body that you cannot help, feeling that you are not up to the task at hand. Maybe this will be the October I am truly born again? I am hopeful I will have more energy after this, and I will be able to put some welly behind my passions, and some drive to do what I need to to get going on the life I want to live. I need to get my mind in the right place. I need to follow up and do. Do, do, do. That is the only thing left for it.
For now, the sun still sits beyond the horizon. I see no sign of it. So, I am going to go to the loo again, to get rid of the coffee I had when I got up. Then I will rest some more. The day ahead will be long enough, without pushing into it too early. I have some thinking to do, and maybe some communications to sort out.
