kelseybacon.com

Four Days Post-Op

Posted on October 5, 2026 by Kelsey

Yesterday we spent some energy in the garden harvesting the corn. That went really well. We did the math based on four ears per dollar and figure we must have got $50 worth of corn out of ours! I think that has Missis fairly convinced it was not worth it. I just about agree, though I sure did have a lovely corn on the cob supper last night.

And then there is the pain factor. My hips went off on me, causing pain down to my knees, and hurting something fierce. I took a nap, I think for about two hours or so, and woke up still in serious pain. Continued rest finally relieved it. According to a Google search on it, I am to expect pain now caused by bone remodeling, as opposed to years of it from degradation. I am left to wonder if what was thought before of as Psoriasis and Arthritis was just caused by this glandular issue, as it apparently can go on undiagnosed for years, and even decades.

So, it is Monday morning, and only four days after surgery. It seems like it has been well over a week. The wound is a little tender, but not painful at all. I had painkillers yesterday during the hip ordeal, in the form of two generic OTC acetaminophen. Nothing to do with the wound. So, I am quite happy with how that is coming along. There is no swelling that I can feel. I only feel the little bandages that are holding it together. Those are set for removal on Wednesday morning.

I hope to go back to work after that. But it really hangs on this business of what is going on inside, I think. I have remained pretty restful apart from the corn harvest. That turned out to be devastating. Who knows what a day of trying to work would do to me? Nothing sudden has come up on me, like unconsciousness, or any attempt to become so. Is that a risk? If so, that will put a damper on working! If not, and I am just facing the demands of pain, then I think I can take a pace that will be tolerable. Maybe a bit of shop time will either help to answer the question, or at least help me understand the pace I need to be at, or work my way up to readiness? Gentle shop time.

The girls have been lovely, as always. I have had help with my chores. And Katrina has insisted on my not lifting anything. She has kept me from doing myself any damage. All of my needs are more than met. And their company through all this has been wonderful! I am so thankful for their sacrifices to help me through it. I could not ask for a more loving and sweet family.

Here I am, sat on my bed at a little before 5AM, feeling the bones, not quite hurting, but I am aware they are there. I think I could call this more of a weak feeling. I can feel them from my knees to my wrists. Thighs especially are alert to that feeling. I need to go wake Missus up for her weekly with her bestie. Then it is back to bed for a little over an hour before getting the girls to the bus stop. Then home again. I feel like I should be working. I should be earning against the bills that are coming. But I will need the rest. I will need the pacing. That’s hard to accept. But I have dealt with enough pain over my life to have learned to deal with it properly. It’s no good hurting myself to sort of prove anything.

I had a good talk last night with my oldest daughter, Autumn. She is keen to learn about photography, and we spoke of it a bit. I think that will be a much easier conversation to have in person. I can better asses her technical skills then. Then there is the subject of subject and composition. Use of color and light. Patterns and repetition. Subject isolation, or elements such as leading lines. She seems to think she wants copies of my pictures. I think she really wants to just make her own. That would be much better. My art is mine, not just in a possessive matter of ownership, but in a matter of creation. She needs to explore her own style and take pride in it. The best I can do is help set her on her own path and leave my work to me. Besides, why should she be paying to host copies of my work when the cost to do so is better spent on her own?

Hurts to cough still. Phlegm still wants coughing up.

Missus is up and getting ready for her call. I am back on the bed, thinking the bone pain is a bit worse for wear already. Might lay back down for the next hour, if I can just finish this entry soon!

Posted in Delivery Jobs, Family Activities, Journal Entry, Photography, Special Update, The Farm, Woodshop | Leave a comment

Film Replication With the D850

Posted on October 4, 2026 by Kelsey

I set the camera settings to replicate some old film stocks on the D850 over the last 36 hours. Well, I have two so far, and I am looking for a couple more. I don’t have everything set exactly right as some setting are ISO and white balance, which are used more dynamically. But the first one I set was Silver Gelatine, which is not a film I personally used, but really wanted to, as it mimics what the portraiture of the 1940’s looked like to me in Hollywood. I will need to set up a flash and my beauty dish to really capture the look.

I laid on my bed and programmed the camera and the very first shot I took was this one, looking up ay my bedroom ceiling. I like the lines up that way, but I loved the tone and texture in this shot. Really shows promise! I need to experiment with skin tones in the photos, too.

Outside in direct evening sunlight, the images are highly contrasty. Maybe too much. I especially found this so when shooting into the sun. It would be useful for capturing silhouettes, and making cameos or the like. But it has not practical use otherwise. I think it will be better in controlled light, and more even light. The contrast is great, but it can easily be too much. Something a lot easier learned on digital than on film, that’s for sure!

The second film type I wanted to mimic was the same stock Stanley Kubrick used for the 1975 movie, Barry Lyndon. It is filmed with Kodak 100T 5254 using Carl Zeiss f/0.7 lenses that were custom build for NASA for astrophotography from satellites. I cannot mimic the f/0.7. I can however mimic the color science in camera. There are again settings that are more dynamic, and I will have to learn them, but for the static settings, I get something like this below.

Amazingly, this and the sliver gel above of the same scene are the exact same exposure at nearly the same time. The difference is astounding. I will try some in the daylight, and I foresee a bit of indoor work, too. But I need to make a correct identification of white balance, as the ones cited were for candlelight scenes shot at night and for daylight. Well, I doubt I will be doing as much candle work as Kubrick.

Next ones I have looked up are Porta 400 which I used to shoot with my Hasselblad, and Ektar 100. Both will ring nostalgic with me. I don’t think any will be all the time shooting for me. But it will be nice to recreate at will. There are places downtown that want for the older color sciences, especially as they will bring up memories of shooting in places like Maidstone, England, and Worcester. I may even break out the square format for it!

Posted in Photography | Leave a comment

Day Three Post-Op

Posted on October 4, 2026 by Kelsey

I woke up a couple of times during the night last night but went right back to sleep each time. When I woke up at 4:30, I needed a loo, and a drink. So, I am up now, at least for a bit. I have had a coffee and did a little other writing. I am honestly eager to try some ideas out with my camera set on the settings I programmed in last night to recreate a silver gelatin look with it. But that will probably wait for daylight, and when that comes, I will no doubt be distracted by trying to get the kitchen sink unclogged.

So, how am I feeling this morning? Honestly, a little weak. Not so much tingle as last night or yesterday. A bit, but not as much. My arms feal more weak than anything. But I feel less internal stress from what I believe was the high calcium before. A lot less! Big, and sudden changes! It’s not the kind of thing I think a person could hope for from medication. My appetite has felt different, too. I am not so hungry. I wonder how that will balance out as things continue to find equilibrium? I was living in England when I first got it in my head that I needed to lose my belly fat. A doctor here gave me a solid plan for doing so, and I could not do it. I just could not get my belly to budge, despite losing weight overall. So, I hope this will solve that problem. Less calcium in my blood straining my heart, and less weight on my internal organs, further straining my heart ought to be a good thing. It’ll all begin to prove out when I get back to work, and especially when I get to the tops of some stairs while working. See if I can make it each time without so much loss of breath and heavy heart beating? But that speculation is hopefulness. I guess that is a part of how I am feeling this morning. But physiologically, I am feeling a bit better this morning than I have for some time. That makes me eager to get up and get at something, which I will have to delay for further healing of the wound.

I still get phlegm in my throat, and I still hurt when I try to cough to move it. I am eager for that to heal. I still feel the wound when I move my head. It is not horrible. Just kind of there. I still have not had any painkillers since the evening of the operation when I took two acetaminophens. So, I think pain management is going swimmingly! I do feel it when I swallow, but not a complaint, so much as an observation, as it is not painful, as such. I have surprisingly good mobility.

I expect to take today off, and rest some more. I will feel better about increased activity after I see the doctor this week. Missus has been fantastic and has really kept me from exerting myself. She wants me healed and in full condition. I am guessing I am more useful that way, and she does not want to have a heap lying about the house because I went and did something foolish. Later this morning I will try some proper food and see about staying on my feet more. Yesterday I was suffering the tingle so much that I was far more comfortable in my chair.

The real challenge here has been the stupid kitchen sink, which picked now to have a deep clog in the pipe. We will boil water this morning and put it down, in hopes that having drained all night, the hot water will hit the grease directly and break through. Then it will be a few more pans to get it going again. Otherwise, I will have to wait a few more days and get the pipe apart down in the cellar and tackle it with the long metal snake that hangs in the shop. It is an old fashioned one with a metal tape that is nearly an inch wide and is sturdy as can be. Not like those modern snakes that have to spin to work. This one is a battering ram by comparison. It has always worked. But, with any good luck, the hot water will break down the grease and a rush of it will blast through after and clear the whole of the pipe. We will see!

When I was preparing for the operation and the time off from my chores, I got my daughter up to speed on operating the tractor, and how much to feed the llamas and goats. Naturally she spent yesterday on the sofa with cramps that hurt too much for her to move. We were a right pair outside last night trying to get the feeding done! She did not feel like driving the tractor, so she saw me at at, and decided she moves awful slow when she is doing it. I reminded her that’s okay because she has to build confidence. I’d rather she moves slow and learns to be very aware of what’s around her and what she is doing. The tractor is not like a car when it bumps into things around it. It does not sustain damage so much as it delivers it. I stay well back when she is driving, too. Good practice for everyone, so I have to set the example. Not like when I worked in the woodshop that my best friend’s family owned when I was 21. We all used to stand next to whomever was running a forklift in what I have come to learn was a stupidly close and dangerous place. It really came to light the day one of the guys umped three large bunks of hardwood on the floor, landing in part right where someone would have been stood if they had been working with him. Those forklifts were never used to pick three bunks at a time, but it was discovered by me that day that they can still drop them, even when not lifting them. So, I urge extreme caution from my family about their proximity to the tractor, and to stay away from where it can suddenly move onto them or fall over on them. There are some accidents that should never happen. This kind of thing is very avoidable. And as a driver, I am responsible to stop when someone comes into proximity. That is safety that is a team effort.

October is likely my favorite month of the year. And here it is already the fourth. I am letting it slip away! With reason, of course! But at least there is writing I can do, and eventually some light work around the shop and house and yard. I am going to be on the quest for money before long. I am not eager to get back to that, but the need pulls me. I don’t like that. Not one bit! Constantly worrying and chasing pennies is not the way I want to live. Using up my personal resources in the form of wasting away a car on the road for others’ benefit is gruesome as the company does not pay to cover the loss. I suffer for money I could be earning another way. Marketing. I keep telling myself it is a matter of marketing. I have got the skills. Hopefully with the changes that come from this operation I will have the energy and won’t fear losing customers from my own laziness and lack of peak performance because of something that was wrong in my body, and not because of some silly personal fault. That is the worst thing about being American. Feeling the expectations of others, and when things are wrong inside your body that you cannot help, feeling that you are not up to the task at hand. Maybe this will be the October I am truly born again? I am hopeful I will have more energy after this, and I will be able to put some welly behind my passions, and some drive to do what I need to to get going on the life I want to live. I need to get my mind in the right place. I need to follow up and do. Do, do, do. That is the only thing left for it.

For now, the sun still sits beyond the horizon. I see no sign of it. So, I am going to go to the loo again, to get rid of the coffee I had when I got up. Then I will rest some more. The day ahead will be long enough, without pushing into it too early. I have some thinking to do, and maybe some communications to sort out.

Posted in Delivery Jobs, Journal Entry, Photo Business, Photography, Special Update, YouTube | Leave a comment

Two Days After Surgery

Posted on October 3, 2026 by Kelsey

Today has been a little different than yesterday, for sure. In some ways, harder. I have felt the continued drop in calcium, I believe. I have been tingly through my arms and torso, and my head has not been all that clear. The wound itself has been mild, and I have not had any painkiller since the night of the surgery when I took two acetaminophen an went to bed. Considering the actual trauma of what happened in surgery, I am pleasantly surprised at this!

A quick Google search turns up that when calcium becomes deficient, one feels tingly. The deficiency comes of lowered PTH, which was the goal of the surgery in the first place, by reducing the parathyroid glands on the thyroid, and thus reducing the overactive state of them. When the remaining glands wake up, they will balance and produce the correct amount of PTH. I look forward to the many results of this, as one will be reduced insulin resistance and improved weight loss. But I also look forward to the improved digestion, and kidney function. The outcome is promising.

Meanwhile, I am on restrictions, and cannot be of much help around the house, which is really disastrous as there is a plumbing issue in the kitchen that I could fix if I could just get to it. It will have to wait.

I did get to drive the tractor today. Much like eating right now, it was thoroughly enjoyed! I do not know why things taste so much better to me right now. Flavors are fuller than before. Maybe this is a good time to be off salt. I wonder if the dullness will return? Or will this be a good time to make the change permanent?

It has taken me all day to get to it, but I set up a Silver Gelatine setting in the D850. Took a couple of photos of the bedroom ceiling tonight with it and had just dark enough exposure to capture the texture of the ceiling and walls, and it came out brilliant! I am going to have to mess about with this setting some more and see what I can create with it. I really like the look in the house, and wonder what outside will look like, especially in the morning or evening light, or under the willow tree? What will it look like in the shop where I have the option of excellent lighting control?

I watched Barry Lyndon last night, and yes, it truly was beautifully shot. That would be another camera setting to work out, in order to shoot like the film is shot. I could not fully mimic the, what was it, f/0.7 lenses, but my 1.8 could get close enough to at least experiment. The D850 could compensate with higher ISO than the 100 original shoot, as it keeps grain and noise down so low.

Swelling has gone down on my neck tonight, so not like last night. That feels a bit better. I am only a little tender there. I napped in the chair and then upstairs today. I slept upstairs from 4PM till 7PM. So, it being 9:30PM now, I am not really tired. But something tells me that if I sit here much longer, I am going to end up asleep anyway. I guess that is a good thing.

Posted in Journal Entry, Photography, Special Update | Leave a comment

So Much To Expect

Posted on October 2, 2026 by Kelsey

Doing a little looking about to find out what to expect post operation. Healing is a long and complex process involving changes in bone health, and things such as kidney and heart health because of calcium levels in the blood and can be expected to take around six months just to normalize. During this time, there will be changes to how I feel, and some of the most severe changes will happen over the course of the first few days. Expect improved kidney function and the reduced risk of kidney stones. These are exciting as I have noticed troubles in both by heart, and my kidneys, and how they have been functioning. I am not aware of bone density troubles, but as I have been dealing with psoriasis and arthritic like issues, I suspect there could be some connection and hope to see improvements there.

Separately, I have found that this can lead to improved weight loss in part due to activity levels improving and cell structure being affected in a positive way after surgery. Lipolysis can be impeded, which is the process where your body breaks down stored fat cells to use for energy. So I can see an improvement in weight loss at the visceral level with this blockage removed. Where chronic fatigue is resolved, I can improve activity levels, Insulin sensitivity improves, and my body will remove fat better around the organs as insulin resistance is lowered.

All of these issues and affects promise hope for a lot of things going on in my body that I have had troubles with but have not been able to pin down to a cause. The doctor did with a number on a lab result. I hope it is genuinely the cause, and it is genuinely resolved. I’ll know more after the post-op follow-up in a week’s time.

As for the healing process, there are a lot of considerations, and where I am feeling particularly well at the moment, I think I will need to exercise caution not to overexert myself and cause damage or impede healing. First of all, there is a big cut on my neck. There is a lot of healing there that is going to need a bit of time to get itself organized and where it won’t be building up scar tissue. I can expect it to be hard for a bit, then softening out after around six months. Funny enough, six months is sort of the timeline for things to feel better and be more or less normalized in every aspect. For the first few days, PTH levels will drop severely, with calcium levels following more gradually. I will probably be noticing the biggest changes over the first two weeks or so. But things will take time to adjust as remaining gland begin to produce PTH to compensate for the missing bits, and finally normalizing my levels correctly. The remaining glands need to wake up, then begin hormone production. 4 – 6 weeks.

Over the course of these first six months, I will try to normalize a healthy diet that encourages weight loss and maintains good heart health in particular. Drinks need to be less caffeinated, and sweet. I don’t know for sure how my body is going to handle liquids, but it has not been good for a long time, and worse over the past few years. With improved kidney function, I hope to see this improve.

I was intubated under anesthetic and can feel that in my throat this morning. I hardly feel the scar or anything in my neck where the glands were moved around and any cuts were taken. My blood labs done around 7PM last night returned a calcium level of 9.9, which seems borderline to the top of the normal range, but as calcium levels drop after the PTH does, I think it is safe to say I will still see continued improvement after a time of dropping too low over the next week or more. So, its high result is nothing to be concerned for. It’s likely lowered this morning, which I understand it is safe to associate with tingling in my extremities and may include cramping in muscles. A lot of evaluating for myself when I can return to work surrounds these issues, I think.

Just got word this very moment that my oldest daughter will be arriving in a month. Now there’s something else to really look forward to! It’s been a minute since she was three, and I last saw her! There’s going to be so much to do! Autumn is a great time for Autumn to show up!

Posted in Journal Entry, Special Update | Leave a comment

Operation Operation Complete!

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Kelsey

Hi there world! I am still here. I went into surgery a little late this morning, and after arriving at the operating room and moving to the table, I was so soon asleep that I remember nothing of falling asleep. I remember during the op when I was 15, I was asked to count backwards from 100. What a joke! I got to 97 and clocked out. I don’t remember Dr. Hansen asking for any count or even suggesting I would be soon going out. I was just gone. Next I know I am in a hospital room with my wife right before me. I don’t remember anything of any recovery room. I had a little bag of ice at my throat, and there seemed to be Dylan and Rosi, and a couple of nurses helping me move into the room. Be buggered if I remember getting into this bed!

Missus and Dylan and Rosi stayed a bit, and have now gone home, ad it is a quarter till 4:00PM. The talk is that if my calcium levels drop to a reasonable number, I will be able to go to bed after lab results at 9:00PM. To be known then. Meanwhile, I ate recovering foods such as chicken soup, some diet cola, and a chocolate chip cookie. Supper is ordered, and breakfast if it is required.

I am sore on the front of my neck. Painkillers seem to be working. I was told that most complain less of pain in the neck and more to do with the throat due to intubation. Seems accurate! Well, we’ll see what tomorrow brings. I am keeping going on the diet Pepsi with ice.

I am happy to be left alone right now, no TV, thanks! Who can bear that kind of noise? The door is open so I can see the comings and goings, but I am happy for all to stay out. Just trying to regain strength in my muscles at the moment, and feel like I am coordinated and under control of my muscles. Typing with a monitor on my right forefinger is hard. But I have time to type. I have time to think. This is nice.

I am the only one on the ward, I am told. I guess the room up the hall where people have come and gone is another ward. It makes no sense to me. I can hear the nurses speking softly up the hall at their station. The air is humming, and the table or bed is squeaking as I move my hands to type. At the moment, all is quiet and gentle feeling, and I like it. Empty the can over the ice in my clear Solo cup.

It is the first of October. I have firewood that needs splitting, and I really could do with finding my way out of DoorDashing and onto YouTube, rather, so I can keep my own schedule, but earn an amount to live on. Or even market myself as a portrait photographer. But I am not much sure of this driving gig anymore. Even in this bed, I can feel the places I move to get into and out of the car, and I am not fond of it. I am glad for the excercise! But there is so much repetative movement. It cannot keep.

Dare I dream? Mine are simple wants. I could be content writing and photographing and working in the woodshop making a legacy for myself. The rest of my life? Perhaps! It could be enough to keep me with the variety I need to keep me from feeling locked in. That was what I missed in all my youth, trying to figure out my career options! I missed figuring out the hobby that I would turn to to keep me sane. If only I could go back and tell myself that.

I suspect I will rest a bit now. I could use a bit of time to turn off and recompose myself ready for the trip home. There was talk that Dylan would bring the girls to come at 9PM! I will love to see my sweet treasures! Op done! Now to heal and hopefully come to rest on normal.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Surgery Day Minus One

Posted on September 30, 2026 by Kelsey

Tomorrow is it. At last. I have been in the pre-op stage for so long that now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do! Today, I’ll work, though not quite like normal, as I need to do a few things such as go to the pharmacy, and maybe prepare the pallet fork frame to receive a bale of hay. Save me the stress of the lifting of the heavy metal later when I am in healing phase, as the hay will come due at that point. I might like a moment in the woodshop, too.

I really don’t know what to expect from the after phase. Will it be painful? Will it be extremely painful? Will I have enough meds that by the time I am out, I won’t feel anything at all? I had surgery on my chest when I was 15, and I could feel that for the next 25 years or so. Not painful, but numb, at least. Maybe this will be the same, but I don’t know! Will it mean changes? Will it bring changes to my diet, or how I feel in other parts of my body that the parathyroid gland affects? Little stresses in my chest could be caused by high calcium in my blood. Will those go away? Or is there something else, more sinister going on there?

I am meant to get a call today to let me know of the time of my operation. I Googled information about how long I should be starved before it. Looks like I will be good up till evening meal, and even then, some, depending on the time. Well, that alleviates a little worry on my part. Missus is not happy with the late informative call as one cannot properly arrange childcare and the like. I have assured her that I am far more concerned about their ability to perform the procedure than their ability to arrange the time or the paperwork.

I have been a bit uneasy for about a month now. At first, I was unsure how they came up with the idea that I needed someone rooting around in my neck, cutting away at the glands. A second blood test was performed, and the number needed was correct for surgery. By last weekend, I went into it feeling really good! I mean, I thought twice again about surgery. I was feeling fantastic! Saturday was great. Sunday a little worse for wear, but by late Sunday night and Monday morning, I was hurting right at the front of my neck, bigtime. I could not sleep from 12:30AM till gone 5AM. I managed to pull together an hour of Z’s after waking Missus up at 5:00, and before getting up at 6:15. I had a nap after taking the girls to their school bus. That was about twenty minutes. Then I got up and went to work, and had a relatively normal work day. I even made the normally expected amount.

Yesterday was fine, and I even earned higher than I would normally expect to on a Tuesday. I usually take them off, but I will have time off later this week, won’t I? And I’m American, aren’t I? So, if I am breathing, I am earning money for the Company.

So, in the end, I have not liked scheduling an outpatient surgery for a month out. That is not great on my anxiety. I have not had any sort of mid-level operations like this before. I had the one on my chest, and I have had the sist removed from behind my right ear. Both of those when I was a kid. I was awake for the ear. Oh, and I had a colonoscopy. a year or more ago. That was not so big a deal in the end. Well. Anyway. But this is the first time genuinely going in and messing about with any kind of thing that really keeps me going.

And I am now coming down to the 24-hour deadline. Finally. I will finally get more than a day off work, though it don’t sound like I am going to really enjoy it like I would a vacation. This is more of one of those kinds of vacation in the way you add the word to something like Bible School. Vacation Bible School. The word vacation is put there to make the rest sound appealing. It doesn’t work. I will be on rest. I will be on rest till I can turn my head and check over my shoulder for a car in the next lane. Then I am back to work.

Posted in Catastrophe & Disaster, Delivery Jobs, Journal Entry, Special Update, The Farm, Woodshop | Leave a comment

Subday Night at the ‘Ol Homestead

Posted on September 27, 2026 by Kelsey

Kids are getting ready for school, and one is revieing the music for the play in December. The animals are fed, and the chores are done outside. We managed to get the dog to be quiet by seperating her from her brother. Turns out maybe she spends all night barking at him, or because of him. Whatever the cause, she is quiet now. The neighbor’s are burning something and it is gathering on the front porch, so the door has to stay closed. Not ideal, but that’s country life.

I won’t be taking my day off this Tuesday as I will be off on Thursday and onwards for the operation. I have not been looking forward to it, but today I logged in and had a look at my most recent blood test, and the numbers don’t lie. I need the op. I also have been feeling so good lately, I was beginning to doubt, but today was not so good, and the symptoms were definitely there. While that is not exciting either, it at least justifies the surgery, and I am happier about going ahead with it.

I also got wind of who all is taking the day off that day. I am afraid I have upset some people’s schedules. Two households anyway. Yikes! But not my choice, it is theirs. I need to confirm the time though, and see if this is all really necessary. I found the date of the appointment in the Hospital portal when I logged in the frist time today, and it set the date and added the time at 6:10PM. Is that right? I will call tomorrow to ask.

Work today was alright. I stayed clear of all the moaning on the local Discord server, and stayed positive. I earned $19.66 an hour, and was able to keep going for just shy of six hours, but as I said, I was feeling symptoms and not really well at all. This week was far better than the last few weeks have been. Is that because of Homecoming, just the fact the kids are back for school, or because I have had better access to Earn By Time? Or is it just keeping away from the negativity of Discord? Maybe it was all of the above!

I unloaded my camera of the recent photos I took. I had one in particular that was fun to share with my oldest daughter as she just sent me one that was a similar, yet totally different shot of a road. Hers was from an overpass looking down on the freeway at traffic. It is a very balanced and yet very dynamic. I like the symbolism I read into it of people on the same highway going in different directions. It is almost Yin and Yang like in its balance. Mine is a road vanishing into the fog, then up the hill heading towards distant mountains on a cloudy day. It is a little underexposed for dramatic effect. I thought it was interesting our recent photos were of similar topics. She’s not the only daughter I have those kinds of thought sincronizations with.

Three days of work. Then I am off for a unpredictable amount of time. No idea how long till I am recouperated enough to do some light shop work or other things. As for driving, I will need to be able to turn my head to check a lane change. My nerves are fine. Lie, lie, lie!

Posted in Delivery Jobs, Family Activities, Journal Entry, Special Update | Leave a comment

September 8, 2026

Posted on September 8, 2026 by Kelsey

Using the CPAP has been wonderful apart from a little trouble dealing with sleeping with the mask, or it fighting stubble on my face, or the hose. These are difficult things, because they do interfere with my sleep, but then I get back to sleep, and everything is wonderful because I get such a good night’s rest overall. Except for last night.

Last night I slept very poorly. I could not get comfortable after I woke up around 1:30AM. I tried and tried. I even put on Robinson Carusoe. That proved too interesting to sleep for a while. Missus needed waking up at 4:00AM, and I did get back to sleep around half to a quarter to. Well, of course! Then I fell asleep again about the same amount of time before it was time to get the girls up and ready for school. Been awake since.

Work has been a little less fun lately. It was always hard to earn enough, but it has been worse these past couple of weeks. DoorDash is trying to really force drivers to take really crap orders paying less than a dollar a mile. I need to work out a better income. That is not enough to cover repairing the car if/when it breaks again. It takes all I have got to earn barely enough to get by on. Is it time to go back to the YouTube idea and run like the dickens with it before the February deadline when they up viewership and the like in order to monitize? Might be best. I still want to do photography. Portraiture, specifically. I still have the log mill and the log splitter to earn some off from. But I will tell you, DoorDashing is not going anywhere.

Right, just a quick note today. I am so tired from the lack of sleep. It is the first since starting CPAP two weeks ago, so I should not complain. But I will get a nap. Shame to have to on my day off.

Posted in Delivery Jobs, Firewood, Journal Entry, Photography, YouTube | Leave a comment

The Horse

Posted on September 3, 2026 by Kelsey

I was maybe five or six when I went to my great grandmother’s house to be watched for the first time I can really remember. I could very well have been younger. I don’t know what mom was doing, but given the circumstances, maybe to court, maybe to a government office to sign up for housing or food. Who knows? But I was left with my great grandmother, which means grandma was either not around, or went with mom.

Great grandma welcomed me to her house, which fascinated me even at that age as a neat, tidy little bungalow or what not, and well kept for its age. Of course, by then it was only about 50 years old. Young by my standards today. Then, she asked me, “Do you want to see my horse?” I looked around trying to figure out where at that house she could possibly be keeping a horse! I was astonished at the prospect!

Then she pulled from a nail on a wall a long brass shoehorn with a horse’s head on the top of it. I was a bit disappointed but I was also amazed at how this shiny ojbect did in fact look like a little horse. That was around 1975. About 51 years later, I have finally just built a little hanger all its own for my bedroom because I now use it every day to get my shoes on safely without ruining them, and without losing my balance. I am near the age she was then.

Of course from a straight on angle the horse looks a bit more like a dog, however, from the side it is most definitely a horse!

Every day I think for a moment of my great grandmother, Amy Siedenberg, born Amy Eliza Walker, in Eden, Utah, not far from where I live today. She was a true;y rare person in my life in that every memory I have of her, except of the time she had a stroke, is a good one. The first one is of that horse.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off