Getting Some Things Done

I am getting to the things we need doing around here. Today I ordered an oven to replace the one that broke on us a few months ago. We have not wanted to spend on it, feeling that there is a constant hex upon this house, though not really. But since deciding that we should at last stop teasing, and actually move elsewhere, we are not arguing about style, and just getting to getting things done. The oven is ordered, and it will be an easy installation, though I will have some building to do in order to fit it, and the place to keep the microwave, too. The old facia is crap.

There are many things that can be done to improve the look of this place. There are also the normal things that must be done to prepare it for a winter over, just incase we are here for the whole of it. I ordered a refill on the propane tank today, and will when it is full, call for a service technician to come look at the downstairs furnace, and to check over the upstairs one. There is a window that needs a pane replaced in the kitchen. Some flooring would go a little ways towards making the place more bearable. I also found that I can put a top on the island in the kitchen for $1200, but if I take out one of the cabinets, and shorten it, I can get the top for around $300. Sounds worth it to me!

Meanwhile, there are animals in the farmyard that could do with re-homing. Least of them is the chickens. I don’t really want to give up the flock if I don’t have to. They are starting to lay now, and we are getting as many as half a dozen eggs a day. It’d be a shame to have to start over and wait another six months to get chicks started again.

Where are we going to move to? We still have not decided. There are several places in the offering. I think realistically we should go where the property taxes are cheap, the land and homes, too. I think we should have both forest and field on our place. Water should be close at hand, too. Nothing has done as much harm to our dreams of our farm as not having the water access we were originally meant to have with this place. Unforgivable. But if we can sort out water, then we can do all the grazing and farming we dream of, and if we can sort out wood, then I can work it, and use it for heat. These are the things that are golden to us.

The weather was hot yesterday. It was hot again today. It will be hot once more tomorrow. Then we will get back to temps in the 70’s and 80’s, which is bearable work weather for me. I have got a few things to sort out in the front yard to clean up our drive, then I think we will be ready to take a load of stuff off to the charity shop. This has taken longer than I wish it to, but there have been weather and other things getting in the way. Well those are my excuses, and I am sticking to them.

I have a scrub plane in the UPS system right now. It has sat about 20 miles from here for two days. UPS has even offered to let me come to pick it up, if you can believe that? All they need to do is stick it in the mail as it is set of USPS last mile delivery. This is stupid. I have paid for shipping to my house, not for me to have to meet it somewhere. First World Problems, I know. It is now scheduled to arrive a day late, so far. Let’s see how this comes out, shall we?

Tonight I made Missus a menu to order off of in the morning. She is often on calls when I come down, and I wonder if she wants food, but cannot get her a minute to tell me. Best if she can circle what she wants, and set me off to work on it. I love making her breakfasts. It is my little daily “thank you” to her for all that she is doing for us. I put some fun into the menu, like the option to order Malibu, though we both know that is just for a funny. She can also write any honey-do’s on the back. Saves me hanging about waiting to know what she has on her mind for the day. She can even request Advil if she needs it. I just need to add in a place for her to indicate the urgency of breakfast, so I know how to prioritize it for my other morning routines.

Some of the men around me growing up would jest that I would one day make a wonderful housewife. To them, I say… (Insert not niceties here, and a comment about how she makes a good living, likely more than you ever did.) My role is in raising the kids. My kids get to endure my crazy as they come up, but it is not like the crazy that the rest of the world would like to give them. Forget that.

There are many things still on my mind, and many more that come up as I type this that I don’t want to type about. I have had enough coffee and am ready to get to bed. It would have been a shame to let that 3/4 pot of Joe just go to waste with only one cup taken from it. Now I can sleep well knowing I did my part.

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Philosophy

I was having a good talk with one of the boys yesterday, discussing education, and life, and things one can spend one’s time doing. Philosophy as a study came up. I am thinking about what I told him I thought of the subject, and came to the conclusion that I have a real animosity for the subject. There is a lot of room for clarification here, philosophically speaking.

First off, why do I have animosity for the subject. Well, when folks go down long paths trying to come up with the possibilities for what could be, there is a total waste of time and time is what life is made of. I think I also link it to a couple of other things in my mind, such as a circle of friends passing a joint around, or that other all time high, religion, which is just a bunch of human made answers for what people do not understand, or at least did not before science began covering the gaps God got stuffed into by humans. As I got older, I have found that such circles are not the right place for me to be in.

Philosophy is okay in the training of the mind to determine what is real from what is not, but it is not okay to pave the path to the rabbit warren. My concern is, we are where we are, and we are what we are, and we are doing what we are doing. Making up ideas out of thin air is great for understanding possibilities, but to start believing in them with no scientific evidence is absurd. For example, and I get there are folks that entertain this possibility, the multi-verse model where every decision we make spawns both a universe where we chose A, and one where we chose B, is completely absurd to me. Like I am that important. Does a bird in flight that moves a little to the left, rather than a little to the right spawn a new universe, too? All of the animals and humans since the beginning of time would thus seem to account for trillions upon trillions of new universes, possibly every year. And that is just on this planet alone. With such a broad universe where consciousness mostly does not exist, why would conscious beings have this effect on the universe, to cause it to be replicated so many times? Absurd.

So, my exercise in philosophy is useful as far as a bullshit detector goes, but as far as a labyrinth of expanding possibilities of my own creation… I would rather spend my time with my children, raising decent people, and helping them prioritize the things that matter most in life so they can get the most out of it before they die, and leave the world in a better state than it could have been otherwise.

This simple explanation is brought to you by a one sided discussion. It is not intended as an answer to all things. It is the skeletal beginnings of my own philosophical treatise on philosophy. Live on, move forward, and do it with determination, and a good dose of humor.

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Cast Iron

I have a collection of cast iron pans that I have assembled since coming back to America eleven years ago. I had to learn all about cast iron pans and their care in the time since then, and doing so has been a scientific and culinary adventure. I also have delved into the religion of Cast Iron Pans, which is the myth of weather or not to use soap on the pans to clean them. My wife was not too excited about cast iron, especially when she found out I was following the no soap regimen for cleaning. But it was what everyone seemed to say, both in person, and online. There was only a small faction that would advocate the use of soap on the pans, but they could not possibly be right against the throngs of people who strongly advised not to. Could they?

The real revelation for me came when I looked at a skillet one day, and realized how dissatisfied I was with the build up of seasoning that had cracked and was becoming dislodged from the pan, exposing metal beneath. I took that pan out to the workshop in a desperate bid to make it right, and began every method I could think up to try to remove that thick coat of seasoning, and settled in on simply sanding it down to bare metal. What I ended up with was a shiny silver pan. By this time I had already experimented with washing the pans with soap a few times, and one thing for darn sure, I had never seen soap take the pan down to this! As it turns out, cast iron is actually a very shiny silver color on its own!

After I finished stripping the pan down to my satisfaction, I smoothed out the bottom and blew it off with the air hose, then took it to the sink and washed it thoroughly. Then I put it right onto a hot stove to evaporate any water and keep it from rusting. Then I coated it with olive oil, and put it in a hot oven, about 450 degrees, and left it for the better part of an hour. The pan was blackening up again! I repeated this step three times, and the pan had not only blackened but the bottom inside was as smooth as glass, and looked better than it ever had new.

One thing I can attest, soap washing most definitely does not strip off the seasoning from the pan. It does dull it, but since I always freshen up the seasoning a little after washing, that is no big deal at all. It is perfectly fine to wash it in soapy water! Revelation! And Missus is happier to see it being done. I am also the wiser for this knowledge, because I know how to not only repair, but improve my Lodge cast iron pans, to make them more like Finex pans, which are far more expensive, but have a more refined finish out of the box.

Mostly, I am happy to have a better understanding of he science of cast iron pans, and that oil, when heated to the surface, causes polymerization, which is when the oil turns into a plastic coating, protecting the pan, and giving it an excellent non-stick quality. Yup, those old pans are really more of a plastic pan on an iron base, or an iron pan with a plastic coating.

Now, having said all that, there are some folks who will never put soap on their pans. It was the way they were taught, and they will not bend on the rules they were raised with. Those rules work for them, and have always worked for them. Momma said it, and they believe it, and that is what they are sticking to, pardon the ironic pun(s). It stems from an evolutionary trait that when we find things that work and are safe, we tend to rely on those things to keep us safe.

It is another irony that the evolutionary trait I just described is also why some people have a cast iron resolve against the Covid vaccine.

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Writing

I can journal, and I can chronical, but to write creatively, I have lost all function. I think I can still do the time keeping because I do still practice it here sometimes. But I never was much of a creative writer to begin with, though I did once have an imagination to speak of. All of that seems to be gone right now.

Maybe that is part of the draw to Maine, or to the East somewhere were it is possible to have a piece of land with a forest on it. I don’t mean a pine forest. I am thinking of other species of deciduous trees. There are practical reasons, such as that they don’t tend to burn the pay the conifers do, and because they grow and fill in where one is chopped down, and I would like these such trees as a source for wood working material. But there is also the want to be in the forest, to get lost in the light and shadows, and to look and see only trees in every direction. That is a place where maybe I can get my mind back to where it was on the Gorse Hill in England, when I was learning about Lay Lines, Fairies such as Brownies, and House Elves. It was a place where Fairy Tales are born, and I got close to where I think I would have needed to be to let one out, but then we moved, and the Cathedrals, and the ancient cemeteries and overgrown forests were all gone, traded for a desert, where only goblins would take up residence and live out of sight of anyone else, yet still complain about the neighbors.

I see practical and farming reasons to want to go to Pennsylvania, but the part of me that looks to Maine sees creative reasons for going there. I know I would like to live in the original 13 Colonies, where the history of our country is still the newest part of the history of this land. The real question is, what do I want the next stage of life to really be? There is more to it than just Llama farming. There is growing the tale that wants to come out. It feels like that is going to be drawn out among the trees.

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Roads

When I was four years old my mom put me on a plane from Sacramento to Los Angeles, where I was picked up by my grandparents, then the next fay we took a flight from there to visit his family in the region of Morgantown, West Virginia. I went again with them when I was about six; this time by car. It was fun to run back and forth between the speakers in the back window as Dueling Banjos played, but it was especially fun to belt out “Almost Heaven, West Virginia, Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River. Life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing with the breeze. Take me home country roads to the place I belong…”

I have been on a lot of roads in my life, from Pacific Coast Highway along Big Sur, across Montana, down Florida way, and all the way in the UK. We have put down roots, but the breeze is blowing, and it is catching us again. In the coming months we may find ourselves in parts as of yet unknown.

I came to my room tonight to write this, and as I did, I could smell the smoke blowing through the window, presumably from the fires in my beloved California, where I was born all those years ago. I have been smelling that almost every night at bedtime for some weeks now, and it is heartbreaking.

The roads of the past are obscured by smoke and the roads of the future are invisible to see. For years now, we have both looked at properties every July as the summer gets too hot and the days are long, and we both seemed to long for someplace where we can consolidate our dreams into a single piece of land, and move our feet along our own road of life. This year I finally agreed to just give it a go. I have been here long enough, and have tried and tried on our hobby farm and I just need a space that is more suited to what we are trying to do. We could try to transform the space we are in, but it is a lot cheaper to move to a place that is already set up for what we want. Further, this house has got ahead of us and needs so much work. It alone would cost a fortune. We need a reset, and the house does too. It needs someone who can come in and work on it with fresh eyes and fresh hands and fresh thoughts. We need a clean slate and more room to stretch out our arms and not worry about running into someone. Not that we do now, but it is getting tight here with every new foundation poured and every nail driven home.

Well, we are going to give it a try, anyway. Don’t yet know where we will land next.

I have a few dreams to work out, and they are not working here. There is so much baggage and so many ghosts for us. They are inescapable. They are and I am tired. I am tired, yet I still feel alive and like I have a lot left to do in life. I am wildly in love with the woman that lives here with me and I want to see her smile the same kind of smile about her whole life as she does when she smiles at me.

I am tired of smoky skies and the smell of California burning. I am tired of the same old weeds growing in the flower beds, making me pull them again and again. I am tired of busting by back doing what I should have a machine doing, and helping me to do a lot more of. Changes need to be made while I still feel as young as I do, and before the tiredness and the ghosts push me over.

So, I am going to assume there is another fifty years for me to go. I want to see a lot of changes for myself during that time. I am not done living and growing. I have not read the classics yet. An audio book reader will have to be put in the hand tooling part of my workshop in the near future. There is no point in letting the time go by without getting two important things done at once. I want to get back the optimism I used to have when I was younger. I need to put the spring back in my step, at least a little. Life is to be lived.

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Last Night & Today

I have been aware of something getting into the egg coop, where the peacocks presently reside, and eating the old eggs that the hen abandoned. When eggs get broken and eaten, it is normally a skunk. Other animals tend to kill the birds. A skunk is generally not dangerous directly, and some may likely question where this story is going, so let me explain.

Sure, I don’t know for sure if the skunk would ever go for the birds, or for their recently hatched chicks. I have never seen one do it. A skunk might. But probably not.

But there is one thing a skunk will do, and that is burrow in night after night looking for food. And that is the problem. The skunk is finding every weakness in the fence, and exploiting it, then leaving it exposed all night for any other hapless predator who comes along, and makes it easier for them. A Mink or a Raccoon will happily kill away at the birds. A Raccoon will at least eat them, but a Mink will do it just for the pleasure of killing. No other reason!

And even if not the case, besides, those eggs are mine! They do not belong to the skunk. It is on my territory. I would not eat the peacock eggs, but when those run out, the next place to find its way into is the chicken coop, where our family eggs are laid. I have to protect those, too.

I am not specialized in catching and releasing live skunks, so I do it the sensible way, and kill any I find in the coop. If you have never dealt with the scent directly, then you may be amazed at how well a skunk can protect itself. It is enough to make a person sick.

So, I went out to the coop last night before bed, pellet rifle in hand, and who do you suppose was wandering around in the coop just as plain as day? I got to clean up that guy this morning. I also got to patch the holes he made to get into the coop. My daughter helped me bag the body, and put it in the bins out for the garbage man to collect, luckily only about two hours later!

I am not happy about doing any of this. I don’t like it. I have had to do it enough times to become a bit indifferent to the act, but I still don’t like the result. I have petted a scented skunk before, and they are lovely little animals, really. It seemed to me like it was kind of half cat, half squirrel. They are curious animals, and are just looking out for themselves as they check things out, and explore what is around them.

Today was a gloomy kind of day. Normally I would mean that it was the kind of day where I was depressed or down in the dumps for whatever reason, but today was literally gloomy. There was so much smoke in the air, and the light coming in the windows of the house was a bit orange. I have seen far worse in California itself, but it brought back the memories. The West just keeps burning, and the latest fires, which probably produced today’s smoke, have nearly burned down the town my mom was born in, which then puts her into my mind, and next thing you know, the literal gloom becomes metaphorical. Who needs that?

Smoke!

I am a bit mad about today also because it was the coolest day in weeks this summer, and I was feeling like I had been repeatedly hit by a madman in a small car. It felt wasted as I did not get done all I wanted to do.

Well, that is how the cookie crumbles.

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The Rain Is Falling

Sat here at the computer in the house, the smell of rain in the air, and a bit of lightning and heavy rain on the way. These storms have been a welcomed relief, though they have caused great havoc in other parts of the country, flooding in particular. It seems that whenever there is a severe weather event, the call goes out that it is all caused by climate change, or among the more privative ones, Global Warming! This is weather that has always happened. The only difference is, it has not always happened here. I remember the threat of flash flooding across the desert in southern California, or with the occasional tornado in Colorado. Our little mountain valley has cold winters, and when we first moved here, the summers were punctuated by occasional windy days. We have had heavy rains and we have even been nearly clobbered by a small tornado here at the house, one having touched down within a thousand feet of here. Climate Change is, for now, heat domes and unpredictable weather patterns.

It sure is greening the grass up here! After a long heat spell, it is good to see the forecast offering cooler high temps for the foreseeable future. The ten day forecast sees one time that the high exceeds 90 degrees, and the rest are mid-80’s, more like Augusts in the old days, as I have been anecdotally told.

Amid all this we are working to clean up the out buildings and the horse trailer and get everything organized and sorted. We may move before Christmas, depending on some things, and if so, we need to be ready, and if not, we will come to an advantage by the work done.

Either way, we have lots of things ready to go away via garbage sale, donation, or the dump, in that triage. I will have space to work in my workshop, and the barn is reverted to storage. We are looking at houses, but with shops and barns to accommodate our many hobbies. This house and the land and buildings simply don’t have enough for us, and there are ones out there we should be able to afford if the realtor was accurate in his assessments of ours.

It’s time to remember the wisdom I picked up a few years ago when planting the garden. I was putting seeds in the ground, and thinking about how life goes. My mom had not long passed back then, and I was sullen and heavy in my thoughts. I realized that I might not live to see the seeds grow to harvest. But with my young in the garden with me, I realized that the seeds must still be planted; the work still put in. If I never lived to see the benefit for myself, the others would, and though it is only a season, so is life.

I need to get to work on this house, and get some things fixed up and looking better. It will bring more at the time of harvest, and even though I am told the market is too hot to worry about repairs, surely it is not a loss to attract a buyer with more money to offer.

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Two Shots

As of yesterday afternoon I am vaccinated with the second shot of Moderna. I hear people say that the first shot is easy, and the second one is rough, but they have been equally bad for me. Today has been a bit rough.

I did manage to get out and do animal feeding this morning, and drive my daughters to McDonald’s as well, but then came home and the stiffness in my joints and the soreness in my neck and head were too much, and I had to lay down. I slept for maybe half an hour, then woke up, and felt a bit better. I am not great, but things are better than before.

I am on my second Monster drink today. I usually limit myself to one a day, but today, if it helps me feel a little better or brings a little joy, then that rule is out the window! I love the white can, zero sugar one. Sipping on one of those ice cold is just lovely.

I need to get up in a bit, disconnect the trailer from the truck, and put in the water tank to go fill the horse and male llama’s water troth, and sort them out with a couple of days more water. I wish they had access to water from the canal or the swale, but their field is totally bare of it, as are the girl llamas on the other side of the front. The girls can be reached by a hose if need be, though, where the others have to have their water hauled. I haul enough to top both of the paddocks up at once, and just do it while I am there.

Soon I will get a second trough for the far-side front paddock. That will require more trips to fill them, but I don’t want to make a mistake and let some animals die, do I? The question I still need to answer is, will I get a same sized one, or get a bigger one and make the current one available elsewhere, or just have more on for them?

Life is like that. These considerations have to be made, on all different levels. Sometimes the right choices are made, and easily. Sometimes they are hard, and the decision, while still the right one, is very difficult. And so it is. The consequences have got to be lived with.

Right. I am off to see if I am still able to do anything at all. Maybe run an errand or do a chore. Let’s see what I feel up to, and able to.

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Act II

Having turned 50 this year, I am moving into Act II of life. Well, I hope so, anyway. When I was a young lad, I wondered how I would make it alive to thirty. That has come and gone, and now I look at those folks who die at 70 or so, and wonder if I will make it alive till then. But if the optimist in me gets his wish, I will make it to 100, and this is only the half way mark! That would be nice, anyway.

I got a Leatherman in the mail today. I picked it up off a shop on eBay, and already I wondered if I got ripped off with a fake! There are scratches on the pliers from one use! I looked at reviews of the tool on YouTube, and given what I saw there about some of the quality control issues they have had, I can be proud to have only scratches in the black finish. The tool is guaranteed for 25 years, so I suppose if worst things come, then I can take advantage of that. And if I only live to 70, then that guarantee will outlast me anyhow!

Apart from the scratches, there is one other thing that kind of bothers me, and that is the drop of the pliers handle when I hold them by only one grip. Out of the box the pliers swivel was tight and even almost a bit difficult. Then later, it was loose enough to swing by gravity. I closed and opened them again, and they were tight again. I cannot figure out the cause, but I have checked for play in the joint, and found nothing either way.

So the best tool on the market is just a bit funny.

Despite all that, if it turns out to be a genuine tool, and holds up well, then I think I will be happy with it. The worst thing about living on a small farm, and likely a big one too, for those who do, is going out on the land and finding some little job that needs doing, but requires a tool to do it. I expect that the Leatherman will solve a lot of that trouble for me if I remember to carry it always. I have ordered some more tools for it, too, such as the bits and drivers, and will be setting it up on my belt as a near do-all. I am thinking of putting my leather crafting skills to the test and making a pouch to carry everything. I will be a regular Batman with a utility belt.

Took a shower before bed tonight. The new bed has new white sheets on it. I cannot imagine waking up to a husband stain on those! I don’t want to see the look on my wife’s face if one appears! I am thinking on payday we get a couple more sets of sheets for regular changing! Again, as someone on a small farm… Dirt.

It has been hot again today. It got up to 96 today at the high. It could be worse, but I think if the skies were clear, it would have been. Unfortunately the skies were not clear, but instead completely clogged up with brown smoke. We were like this all last summer. California and Oregon burned, and we got smoked over. Now, I am not complaining about this as a comparison of what is worse! Smoke is obviously way better than fire! But if they did not burn, we would not have the smoke, which would be much better for both of us, so that would be nice. If anything, it is a depressing reminder that people’s homes are being lost, and sometimes, even lives, and that is horrible! But it also does not bode well for the west at all. Smoke is no way to fight global warming. With the drought this winter, it was obvious this was going to be a bad summer. We got way too little snow for our averages here, and then the spring rain was next to nothing, too.

Now we are in summer, it is hot, and the rain still is not falling. I put in my own weather monitoring station so I would be able to see this first hand, and I have. The differences between this year and previous ones if stark. It is probably a good time to get out of the West.

For now, it is a good time to get to bed.

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Some Things Take Time

We have lived in America for ten and a half years now, almost eleven. When we got here we moved into the guest bedroom at my grandmother’s house in Nevada, and took up caring for her and her husband straight away. It took us a long time to get on our feet because we put so much into looking after her and her husband. Hell, we were expected to pay all the household bills on a $1,200 a month income while raising four kids on it. Meanwhile they had more money, and lived high. One of the last symbols of the inequality is going out the door today.

We went out and got a new mattress and box spring. Today I tossed out the old set that had come from grandma’s guest bedroom in her house in Nevada, which she had bought cheap from a motel that closed down in the town there. I cannot believe we spent a decade sleeping on that ratty old piece of shit. But we got used to it, and never had spare money to get a replacement for it. So sleep on it we did. We finally seem to feel like we are no longer reassembling our lives from the move across the sea, and from the time spent in devotion to the care of my grandparents, that is one remnant of that period that I am so glad to see in the back of the truck ready to go to the dump tomorrow.

We checked Sam’s Club first, but they did not have what Missus needed in a sleeping slab, so we went into The Mattress Firm, and the guy there lead us to one. Missus followed his instructions to lay on it, and she said for me to come try it, but I said no. When she asked why, I said, “Because I can see the price.” Lead right to the $3,000 mattress? Forget it. When we explained what we wanted, he pointed us to ‘the value section,’ and we picked out a mattress and box spring that cost less than $500 with a mattress protector. Yeah, it is not the luxury line, but having money left in the bank is fairly luxurious, too. And at that price, we were left wondering why we did not sort this out sooner!

By the time we got the old bed out and the new one in, I was fairly tired, and fell asleep in the chair in the library for a couple of minutes, then decided to lay up on the new bed, on the new sheets and pillows we got to go with it, and though I did not fall back asleep, I feel a hell of a lot better! So, here is hoping for a good night’s sleep tonight!

Oh yes, the new set is higher than the already high up old set, so elevation sickness and fear of falling off are almost a thing. Missus used a stool to get up on it to try it out after setting the thing up. It’s kind of a laugh, but then, I like being higher up in the room when I sleep. I cannot even imagine sleeping on one of those low to the floor units.

I wonder if some of the pain in my hips is from the rat? I think I will be finding out tomorrow morning! I look forward to finding out! I look forward to sleeping somewhere that feels fresh, new, and clean! That’s not something I have experienced in maybe thirty years.

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