It has been positively lovely having my wife’s sister with us these last three months. She has been a light in our family, and has worked and earned her keep. Now, obviously, one does not have to earn our hospitality, but when one does, we will likely roll out the red carpet when one needs a place to stay.
While she was here, my grandmother died, and was buried down in the local graveyard. Among other things, this has brough to an end the generations of my family that stand directly between me and the grave. Time for a midlife crisis!
With all this change in mind, and the end of the month on us, it is time for me to really think on how I want this year to carry on. In one sense, the word freedom springs to mind. In another sense, it is now more than ever time to make my own destiny. I have never felt more that my life is my own. This feeling springs from being liberated from my grandmother’s narcissism, and want to control my life. It is also rooted in the sadness of the loss of my mother a few years back.
So, how to move on now? What path of life do I pick, now that the last person who has been desperate for me to follow her life has died? What do I want my life to be about now that grandma is no longer holding her religion over me?
It is an unfortunate thing with these all or nothing cults like Mormonism, that when family does not believe, it can mean for those who do that the nonbeliever is lost forever. It sure puts a heavy weight on the believer, and that weight is often what destroys the family relations.
Well, with all that behind me, I am going to go figure out my direction.
The things that do matter to me are foremost, my wife and kids. After that comes the farm, self reliance, making things for us and things that will outlast me. It is important to me that we are not beholden to anyone for anything. These are all among the things that will direct me in the time to come. My devotion is first to this.
The time is here to really consider the legacy I will leave, too. If ever there were a time to make things, this is it.
So, look forward to writing, creating, and making. It is time to put the wealth of my life experiences to good use. It is time to bridge the good in my past to the good of the future. It is time to be.