kelseybacon.com

Last night did not feel comfortable at all for me or for my family.  I walked up to the shop with Dylan in order to get some air and refresh myself from having been indoors all day yesterday.  The topic turned towards death and life, and the brevity of life, and then we were greeted by the sign at the shop telling of the headlines in the Worcester News about a man who had driven his two children into the River Avon over in Evesham.  To add to the tragedy of the weekend, it turns out that there was also a body discovered in a stream here in Worcester.  I hear that the man, in his 30’s was stabbed and shot, though I have yet to see news to confirm this. 

On the way home from picking up the newspaper and all of the things we were after at the shop, we ran into a neighbour who informed us that the man who had driven his children into the river had previously lived within a stone’s throw of our front door in our street, and that the five year old has died earlier in the day.  She also said that another neighbour close to us has been disallowed to be alone with his children because he has been “fiddling with his daughter.” 

I got home to find Katrina sitting in the living room with the hammer in hand because Kirynie has been freaking out and pointing to the windows, so rather than disregard her instinct, Katrina armed herself and took Kiry into her protection. 

At bedtime, we locked up and checked all the locks and windows a second time, and left some extra lights on as we went into the bedrooms. 

Too many things pointed in the direction of something bad happening, so we adjusted and went to bed a little on edge, even bringing Kiry in with us to sleep just so we’d have that extra feeling of security.  It was too eerie of a night for any of us.

I got a decent amount of the stuff last night, even though I feel like I have had my butt kicked before getting into the ring with Mike Tyson.  But my brains got some dreamy rest last night.  They did..!!  I can’t prove it, but they did.!!  Today looks like it is going to be a good day…  😉

Nothing spectacular today, except that a bout the time Katrina was due to come home, it started snowing out of the blue.  Not literally out of the blue, but damn near.  I took Kiry out to look at it, and there was snow all over the walk in front of out house alongside the street.  The wording there is careful.  See, it was on the walkway, but not on the street.  It snowed to about there pretty hard, then tapered off abruptly, leaving the street and the other side of the street clear.  It was very strange to see the border of a snowfall like that.  But then Katrina came home to say she had to ride through a blizzard for about half a mile or so on her bus ride home, then it stopped and did not start again for her on the way.  She didn’t even notice the snow on the walks…  Go figure!  So the very threat of a sudden and hard snow put us on a little bit of an edge, but nothing has come of it yet.  So there we go then! 

Right now I am sat in the back waiting room of the optometrist’s office.  Jordan is here to get his eyes tested.  The fool didn’t even study!  He’ll be lucky to pass at all!  Kiry and Dylan are here as well.  Kiry is keeping Dylan busy with his cell phone.  Dylan is trying hard to get it back from her, and failing badly.  As for me, I have tried to find a WiFi connection here, but the two available connections are both protected, so I am out.  Still, I thought it might be nice to publish a post when I get home..!!  The highlight will be when I get home, and get a couple of meals off the cooker in Cafe World.  Ain’t life exciting? 

Here is a photo taken with my Netbook’s built in camera.  It is not the greatest, but it does at least do the trick!  Very basic stuff.

I didn’t get to bed till a bit late last night, and frankly, I am tired and wishing I was not here.  But then again, I am glad I am not at home wishing I was out in town. 

I was going to try a video but it has to be loaded to a server on the web first, and I can’t at the moment do it.  Knowing that now, I wonder if I can set up an ftp folder on my server to do that. Then I could address it and put the thing in my ftp folder on the fly.  I think I would have to be online to get it done though…

Here it is, the day of the most watched game in America, some think the world.  It is not the most watched game in the world, it is just that some Americans think it is.  Here in the world outside the USA, nobody cares, just like on the fourth Thursday in November, when nothing happens here.  But in America, according to CNN and other news organizations, it is the biggest thing in the world.  This really shows once more the American egocentrism.  Not that it is a bad thing as such.  It is just something that I think limits the views of Americans, and I think could well be addressed by a mandatory period abroad.  It would do so well for Americans to travel out during college, and see the world outside, and appreciate the world beyond America’s borders.  Then when returning to America, decisions could be made less from that centrist view, and from a more appreciative, world view.  Broad mindedness and greater education from just such a view is what I will promote upon my return, to make America stronger. 

I have been locked in a box for some time now.  The living room is a box.  The home school schedule is a box.  The frame of the photo is a box.  Nations, whether they be England or America, are boxes.  To fill out a VISA application, I have to fill in each of the boxes.  There are the boxes into which I must deposit money, called Banks.  There are the boxes on the computer screen called browser windows, which are boxes.  There is the lunch box, the mail box, the toy box, the box on which people watch the news.  There are so many boxes, and so many more…  This is a phase I go through.  I want to smash all of the boxes in my life.  Today is a definite box smashing day. 

I would love to smash boxes today.  Today I would love to get out and go and make things happen and life happen.  Nothing much ever seems to happen when I am locked into boxes.

I have not lifted the camera on weeks.  I don’t feel its call to me right now, so I needed a break from it.  There is something amiss about it and I cannot figure out what it is.  There is nothing wrong with the camera.  the problem is with the art, my view, how I am seeing things.  I think I have needed the time away from it.  This last month I have had to buy a personal computer that I can use to travel around with, write from, load pictures to when the card on the camera fills up.  I am planning to travel.  I NEED to travel.  But I need to have a few good lenses too, but I cannot afford them.  So I was not all that happy about having to buy a computer.  I got a netbook in the end so I would not begrudge the cost so much, and for extra portability.  It is great so far, and does more than I expected it to.  I will upgrade the RAM soon too, allowing it to run even a little smoother than it already does.  But it has otherwise been a delay in saving for and buying the lenses I need to get for the sake of business, and for art.  I am sat here typing about on it now. 

If there is one thing I need to do, it is create!  I need to make something, and not be lazy about getting started or finished on whatever it is I make.  I layered onto a paper machet mobile I am making for my daughter this morning.  It is the sun, some planets, and a star and the moon.  It is mostly an experiment on my part to see how  do at this.  But as I elected to make something for Kiry,  want to do it well too. 

I could write too.  I never seem to be able to come up with the dialogue to make it happen though.  I feel like there is not going to be enough in my mind to finish what I start. 

It feels good to let this out.  I need this! 

One thing that could help to overcome this strangeness, this feeling, would be to get out of England.  I love England, don’t get me wrong.  It is a wonderful place to visit, though I am not so sure how much I would want to live here, unless I had the money for a country cottage with a nice garden and a peaceful village very close by.  It would be lovely to not have anyone close by to talk to. Then, when I went months without talking to anybody, I would have a good reason not to.  But being in a city, this concept is a bit hard.  I have people living all around me, and very few I ever talk to. 

It’s a kind of sadness, a kind of madness, and a kind of gladness. 

I follow some other photographers.  There are several out there that I really admire.  I really want to be as good as they are.  I need to develop the skills.  I need to do the things that I feel are really worth doing.  These things are photography, gardening, making things for our home.  I need to learn to find and refinish furniture.  I need to learn how to make what I need, rather than relying on others.  I need to get on with the resolutions set for the New Year..!!

If the Chinese get so upset about the recent deal between the USA and Taiwan agreeing a $6.4 Billion arms sale to Taiwan, then should not China be more conciliatory towards the US when it tries to sanction North Korea and Iran for building Nuclear Weapons?

"China’s response, no matter how vehement, is justified. No country worthy of respect can sit idle while its national security is endangered and core interests damaged." -The official China Daily via Reuters.  ( http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKTRE6100CK20100201?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0 )

China needs to know they cannot have their cake and eat it too.  Once it is gobbled up, there is no pretty cake to show off.  If they keep trading their credentials at the UN in these other areas, then the US can ignore their national security as blatantly.  It shows they really do lack a view of the over-all picture when it is the US that will end up having to cleanup the Nuclear mess with North Korea and Iran either directly or not by facing head on what the US or its allies have to face.  China’s failures in curbing arms development is no different than selling them.  Either way, the bad guys get the goods. 

My respect for China is a little diminished on this.

So far this mean little beast has run everything I have thrown at it. I am at the limit too, where I don’t think there is anything more I intend to run on it.  I may find more things, but if what I have installed so far is any clue, then I am sure I will be okay.  I can do everything I could want to do while out and about, especially with regard to writing and almost everything I could want to do with my camera in hand.  There is one application that needs sorting out, but I don’t think the problem is the computer.  If that is the case, then I will have installed everything except photo editing software that my desktop is used for on a once a month or more basis.  That is frankly enough to leave me stunned. 

And to think, the next step may just be to upgrade the RAM, which it so far has not needed.  So that ought to be GREAT!  Just keep to BASIC functions, only a couple of apps at a time.

I spoke to grandma earlier today.  She was in Ogden, Utah, and about to go out the door to head down to southern Nevada.  She sounded very tired to me, and she has had a Hell of a week, so I cannot imagine they are going to make it back okay, especially as she can’t drive at night, and her husband does not drive anymore.  I hope they are okay.  I need to call them tomorrow to be sure.  That will give them time enough to get home and to rest.  Failing that, there is nothing else I can do.  :-( 

Speaking of driving, the boys and I saw the results of an accident today on Tolladine Road where a car had pulled out from Bradford’s onto Tolladine in front of another car.  The car on the road hit the car that had just entered in the rear end and sent it, a red compact or sub, into the wall on far side of the sidewalk.  It could not have been a good thing as there was engine oil all over the road, and there had also been a life flight helicopter.  If you know Worcester, the drive from Bradford’s to the Royal Hospital is not worth taking a helicopter for, unless the injury is pretty bad.  We never did see the cars there as they were towed away by the time we came back up the hill, but as we came up, the road was unblocked, so we could walk the scene, and it was pretty obvious what had happened.  I could not tell if the road driver had hit the brakes or not as the rain prevented any skid marks.  However I know it was due to the rain or the driver not hitting the brakes because there were no sideways marks from the car that got hit, spun and pitched into the wall.  And the fact the car was pitched into the wall in that position is evidence of the speed, as there was no large vehicle in the wreck, which we know from what we were able to see from our trip down the hill earlier.  It was an awful mess, and I do hope that everyone comes out of it okay.

It snowed for a bit today after 2 PM.  That was strange, as it never happens here like it did today!  Kiry and I were out in it.  I felt like I was living in Colorado again.  The weather was sunny just before we went out.  Next thing you know, it is a blizzard of light snow coming down! 

With any luck I will be adding more blog posts as I have now got a netbook and greater portability.  So far it has run everything I have thrown at it, which has not been Photoshop, admittedly, but other applications such as i-Tunes, Google Earth, Open Office, Avast, Audacity, Skype, and so on have been easy as pie on this machine!  I really look forward to making great use of this machine, especially WITH the camera tethered! 

So far the netbook has run everything I have thrown at it, from Google Earth to Audacity to Open Office.  In fact, it has also run a film from a file on the computer in Windows Media Player. 

Thrilling also it the battery life on this model..!!  It says on the box it is a nine hour battery, and I believe it so far..!!  Earlier I went some 4 hours and brought the power down to 53%, with no extra power conservation settings on.  I am impressed..!!